This is a question that has always split the world in two sides: antique and modern, old and new, Old fashioned and unorthodox and even, I’m going on a limb here, women and men.
Men say yes to this, not all of them loudly, the women, in a vast majority say “hell no!”
Let me present the setting. You met someone, you went out for a coffee/soda/beer/ice-cream (we all scream for ice cream), and spent together a couple of hours having a good time, you feel an attraction towards him/her, in other words you feel that tingle. What do you do? You give in to the impulse and try to go further or you politely say good night and goodbye?
And here comes the part that depends on your education, experience, misconceptions and especially for the ladies, the image self-awareness: What will he think of me if I give in on the first date? Will he still respect me? What all he wants is a one night stand?
I think you already realized that this post is addressed especially to the women. Ladies, if you are asking yourself this question, you better be honest with yourself firstly. You don’t have to worry about what the guy thinks; will do, that you won’t be able to control, the right question is this one: Do I like him enough in order to give myself to him? Do I want to do this? All your worries and fears can come true even in the few days, weeks or months that you postpone the “after date party”.
A lot of women think that by making the guy wait they will see if he wants only to sleep with them or more than that. You are so wrong my dears! The man you are worried about, the hunter- conqueror that leaves a trail of post coitus victims behind him, that guy can wait forever if he wants to have you and then leave you. He will say to you everything you want to hear until he gets “the prize”. And then? You lost those days/weeks/months only to realize something you could have found out in the first hours of the first date…
I know, most of you will say I’m playing the devil’s advocate. Still, if you look from outside the box, it’s better this way.
Another reason for not delaying the thing is sexual compatibility. Even if only few of you will admit it, sex plays a major role in a couple’s life. Yes, sex flies out from the picture after let’s say, you’re 60-70, but I’m not writing for retired folks let’s be clear on that ok?
In conclusion, if you want to and you like it, why beat around the bush? Why so formal? Why waste time when you can almost instantly find out if he/she suits you? I know, for most of you this sounds like instigating to debauchery but I don’t see a lack of morality in checking one of the most important compatibilities right away. We live in the era of speed, life passes by ten times faster than decades of years ago, so we can’t afford to maintain concepts and rules that don’t apply to the present anymore and aren’t practical, especially if they’re not practical.